


Raikkonen to the Rescue

by liesorlife



Category: formula one - Fandom, motogp - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 18:05:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7651090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesorlife/pseuds/liesorlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My best friend had the worst day, I hope this helps make you feel a bit better :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raikkonen to the Rescue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Awerka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awerka/gifts).



“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” oh god, she thinks, another moron with an identity crisis. Rolling her eyes, she grabs the tannoy and announces to the crowded store “Attention everybody, we have a man at the customer service desk who doesn’t know who he is, can anyone help identify him?” 

Horrified Marc looks at her. “I. AM. MARC. MARQUEZ”. None the wiser she looks at him in surprise, “So you do know your own name! Why did you ask me who you were then?” 

“I am a MotoGP world champion, surely you have to know who I am, I am the most wonderful human being on the planet” Marc tells her. 

Shaking her head, and getting more annoyed by the large queue forming behind him, “Not a clue”. 

It is a busy Saturday afternoon, in the height of the summer. All day there have been people in the store, buying stuff, making a mess, and she is absolutely positive this is the worst job in the world. And now this. “What did I do to deserve this?” She thinks. 

He is still standing there, getting a better look at him, she is shocked by how big his mouth is. That evil smile is really freaking her out. She knows she has to get rid of him, preferably before he starts complaining again, as she really can’t cope with him whining any longer. 

“What did you want anyway?” 

“Well, more money from my team, as I am the only one who knows how to win races, more spare bikes, for when my bike hits an imaginary bump and throws me off, as my crashes are clearly never my fault. When I fall it is because the bike made a mistake, or Rossi kicked me, or some slow rider was in my way, so I had to remove them from my path. Oh and Dani Pedrosa to use as a footstool. Is that so much to ask?” 

Lots for words, and feeling very sorry for Dani Pedrosa, whoever he is, she can’t help but wonder how this guy has not been punched in the face yet.

“Well? Is it?”

“Yes, and what is it you wanted from me?” 

“Money, more bikes and Dani Pedrosa as a footstool!” 

“But this is an ice cream parlour, we only sell ice cream, not human beings, or motorcycles. And instead of giving you money, you give me money and I give you ice cream”. Speaking slowly and clearly, like she would when talking to a difficult three year old. 

Marc still doesn’t get it, getting his phone out he rings Alex. 

Alex answers straight away, “where are you?”

“In the bike shop arguing with the shop assistant who won’t let me have any money” 

Confused and already regretting ringing, Alex sighs. “I thought you were getting ice cream?!” 

“I was, but then I saw this shop with a bike outside and I thought I might be able to get them to sort out my problems with Honda, but this women is completely useless, she didn’t even recognise me, clearly Honda don’t train their staff very well”. 

“Marc, get the ice cream and come home” Alex tells him, using the same tone of voice as the angry shop assistant and hanging up.

Marc turns back to the counter, “Excuse me, do you know where I can get ice cream from?” 

“Oh, for fuck sake” says the beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed man standing behind Marc. Tapping him on the shoulder, Marc spins round to find Kimi Raikkonen standing there. Kimi doesn’t hesitate to punch him in the face, knocking him unconscious. To huge cheers from the rest of the store. 

Walking up to the counter, making sure he steps on Marc. “Me you, coffee, let’s go”.

“But I am working” 

“I am rich, if you get fired, I will buy the dump and fire the owner”. 

“Awesome, let me get my coat! Free ice cream for everyone, I am out of here!”


End file.
